This past week I was sitting on the phone with tech support. Yes, the process was long and underwhelming. While on hold, I ran through my ‘To Do’ list. I thought of all the things I could be spending my time on, but instead, I was on hold for what seemed like forever! As I started to get frustrated a thought crossed my mind…
Am I putting things ‘on hold’ in my life? Am I waiting for things to just happen?
How about you? Are you putting that vacation on hold? Are you waiting? Are you waiting for the perfect relationship to come along? Are you waiting on the motivation to get your home organized? Are you waiting on a great job to fall into your lap? How about waiting on the possibility of winning the lottery to plan your retirement?
If you are, this is your wake-up call! Stop waiting on life to just happen!
The only difference between you and the people who are getting what they want is the mere fact that they know they need to move forward and don’t ‘wait’ on things to fall from the sky. Here are some ideas to help get you started.
Focus on the Who, not the What.
If you find that you’ve been stuck on a goal for a while, try restating it in ‘who am I’ terms instead of ‘what I want’ terms. For example, instead of saying “I want to lose 30 lbs.”, say “I am someone who takes care of herself by keeping my weight around XXX which is a healthy range for my height and age.”
Be as specific as possible. Notice that the saying “I want to be someone who helps others,” could mean anything from a clerk in the grocery store to a heart surgeon.
Focus on who you want to be. Then ask yourself what actions would fit with your desire ‘to be’ instead of ‘get’.
Did you know that 80% of your problems come from 20% of your life? It’s true!
Determine what that 20% is that’s affecting so much of your life, and start working to make it happier, more efficient, and more satisfying.
A common mistake I see being made by my clients is not assigning a true value to their time, energy, money, and the real estate of their home or office.
Realize that for each thing you say ‘Yes’ to, from a pair of shoes to watching a movie, you have said ‘No’ to something else. Always ask yourself – is this valuable enough to me to place it in my life, or even to bump something else from my closet, my schedule, my money?
I know you have pizza night (I definitely do), so why not ‘bills night’ or ‘clean your room night’ as well? Like pizza night, routines show up in all kinds of ways in your life. While they sound boring and confining, routines are actually freeing. In the same way, you don’t have to think about dinner on pizza night, instead of being worried and anxious on Monday morning wondering if you remembered to pay the car insurance, you’ll feel calm knowing that you always go to the bank on Friday afternoon and pay bills on Wednesday evenings. Routines take the stress out.
We’ve all heard about deniability from political spin doctors. I’d like to introduce the concept of ‘controllability’ in your daily life. You can’t control world politics, but you can vote. You can’t control terrorism, but you can be prepared in your own home. You can’t control the construction crews on the freeway, but you can control how much time you allot for a trip. Knowing what you can control and exercising that, and letting go of what you can’t puts you in the driver’s seat of your life.
Feeling good about yourself will come naturally when you stop waiting and start creating the life you really want to live. Stress and frustration will be reduced as you make choices instead of being pushed around. You’ll experience a higher sense of self-acceptance, and you will find that self-improvement will become easier and easier.
So Long Story Short – Stop waiting, Start today!Published in